By Bro Gbile Akanni
Prayer:Our Father and our God we bless you, we give you all praise and adoration for bringing us to this point again.
Thank you for bringing your Word to us on the issues of the Christian
home. We want to pray for all those who listen to us and as a
consequence listen to You that Your Word will mix with faith in their
hearts and that Lord you will intervene in their various family situations.
Thank you Father for hearing us, we are trusting that there will be
great results because of these teachings to the glory of your Name and
to the building-up of your body.
Thank you for hearing us for in the Name of Jesus we have prayed. Amen.
We would like to praise God for this opportunity to come your way again
and especially to continue this series on the Christian home.
Last week we looked at why you must bring-in Jesus to your relationship.
One of the key things we saw is that the beginning of a marriage does
not talk about the end of it. The way people come into family
relationship does not predict what they will do four (4) years from the
time of the beginning of their marriages: that is why the only
invariant, the only invariable person that can supervise your marriage
and that can sustain it is the Lord Jesus. He is the only One that is
the same yesterday and the same today and the same tomorrow! So when you
want your marriage to stand the test of time, bring in Jesus! At the
very beginning of it bring in Jesus; at every point of it - bring in
Jesus! We learnt from the story of the marriage at Cana of Galilee that
Jesus was brought in, Jesus was invited! At the beginning He was invited
even though they didn’t see the need of having Jesus at their wedding
right from the start. Nevertheless Jesus was invited right at the onset.
It wasn’t until their wine was finishing that they called Him in.
I would like to say to you again that as we continue this series: the
overall answer to every need and to every trouble in your family is
Jesus. You must bring Him in, bring Him to your life and bring Him into
your heart and you will see a result.
This week I perceive the
Lord will want us to get back and study principles that govern the
Christian Marriage: principles that if we know and put to work in our
lives there will be results - results that will amaze you. I want us to
start looking at these principles from a question that people came to
ask the Master as we turn our Bibles to the book of Matthew Chapter
Nineteen; let’s read from verses Three to Ten (KJV).
Mat 19:3
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is
it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Mat
19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which
made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your
hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it
was not so.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put
away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth
commit adultery.
Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
Let’s stop there, may God grant you understanding into His Word as we study today in the Name of Jesus. Amen.
Again I just want to use this particular Scripture we have read to
illustrate something before we get round to seeing what is God’s purpose
for marriage. The first thing I want you to look at was the question
the people posed to Jesus. I feel that their question is an eye opener
to several of us and I believe that God will want us to delve
practically into the matter they raised while we are considering the
principle of Christian marriage at the same time.
The Pharisees
came tempting Him …and I must ask you to take note of something today:
people come to Jesus for several reasons! We saw that these Pharisees
came to Jesus tempting Him. I would like you to know that there is no
benefit that will accrue to you if you are listening to us and all you
want is to catch one word from our mouth - you won’t grow that way.
Maybe some of you are very eager and interested in this series of Living
Seed broadcasts and are saying to yourself “I hope this man of God will
say something that will permit me to go and put away my wife.” If that
is why you are listening, I want to tell you that you have missed it
already!
Maybe you are a woman and you are listening to us and
you are looking for something with which to go and attack your husband,
that kind of attitude to the Word of God cannot solve your problem. So
again as we study we are trusting God to divide the Word of Truth with
us in order that we might see clearly what the purpose of God is
concerning the Christian home. We are going to be looking at the Divine
standard and the Divine pattern for marriage; it may not fit into your
Christian experience and it may contradict your cultural understanding:
the issues of the Divine pattern may actually nullify some of the
principles you have read in books and messages you have listened to from
different marriage counselors and many other sources. Here is one thing
you must be sure of - if it is in the word of God, if this is what
Jesus is saying, it is final: you cannot improve upon it, neither can
you add nor take away from it!
As you listen to us today I want you to consider the authority with which the Master is approaching the issue before us.
They came asking Him - is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for
every cause? Please take note of that question: is it lawful, is it
correct, is it proper for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
The question looks straight forward and Jesus should have said “Yes” or
“No”; and that is what many people are looking for! Many people don’t
want to learn the Principles that will make their marriages work! All
they want and all they are looking for is a “Yes” or “No” answer. That
will not help.
There are some of you listening to me today who
are going through a turmoil – you and the man you met and married don’t
seem to be going well together; the woman you went in to has become a
thorn in your flesh and you are saying “if I knew that you would be like
this, I would not have gone into holy wedlock with you at all!” But
what is the issue? Maybe you think there is a quick fix here and you say
to yourself “let somebody just talk to us and this matter will be
finished.” No! You will see as we study the word of God (today) that
this hurried and harried way is not the way God handles issues!
The question was so straight “Is it lawful for a man to put away his
wife for every cause?” And they were waiting for Jesus to say a “Yes” or
a “No.” But that is not the way He handles it. I believe that there is a
reason why your marriage is not working! This reason is the first thing
God wants to show you. May God help you to be patient with us and with
the Holy Spirit to be able to catch the issue that God wants to show you
as regards your family relationship.
Jesus answered and said
to them “have you not read that He which made them at the beginning made
them male and female?” The answer Jesus gave touches my mind so much -
have you not read? It looks to me as if the answer to the problem in
your marriage may come as you go back to the Manufacturer and as you
find out what the Designer of marriage said about it and intended for it
at the beginning!!
“Have you not read that He that made them
at the beginning made them male and female?” I may come back to this
Scripture in another edition of this program but I want you to listen at
this juncture. “Have you not read?” It looks to me as if the number one
solution that all of you must adopt before you get into marriage or
after you have got into marriage and for as long as your marriage will
last and fulfil the plan of God, whatsoever you are going through, the
first solution and the first attitude you must adopt is ”have you not
read that He that made them at the beginning made them male and female?”
It’s like you need to go back to the Manufacturers handbook: there is a
Manual for Christian home when God started it - you need to go back
there! And that handbook is the Word of God. Every marriage will be
properly set when the husband decides to go back and ask - what did God
say about marriage in the beginning? I believe that when the wife
decides to go back on her own to find out what the Handbook and the
manual said, the marriage manual that God issued along with marriage;
what did He say in the beginning? She would be helped. When you begin to
study this, your life will change; when you begin to study and you
start to obey what was written concerning this holy institution things
will change about your life. Jesus said “have you not read: for this
reason shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife
and the twain shall be one flesh: wherefore they are no more two but
one, what therefore God has joined together let not man put asunder.”
Now listen. You will notice that when Jesus began to answer that
question, He brought a word - at the beginning. It looks to me as if
Jesus knew that there is a deviation between the beginning and what is
happening now. He looks as if Jesus was acknowledging that what some of
us grew up to meet which forms our basis for defining marriage
naturally, what some of us came to accept as s tandard for Christian
marriage is quite, quite different from what the original pattern was at
the beginning!
And so in order to get the correct solution for
your own marriage and for your own family, it is necessary to go beyond
what you are seeing today; it is necessary to go beyond what is the
current popular concept and what people are saying about marriage now!
It is necessary for younot to accept the current superficial experience
that people are going about with right now. It is necessary for you to
go back and find out what was God’s original purpose, His original
design and His original instruction concerning marriage. That is where
the answer will come from.
As Jesus was talking and referring them to the beginning they asked another very revealing question
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
Again this question is very, very interesting. If we are talking of
Moses, is Moses not a man of God? He was! Did Moses not speak according
to the will of God? He spoke according to the will of God, all the time
and most of the time! Now there seem to be a conflict and I want you to
listen; there is a conflict from what it was at the beginning and the
situation the questioners found themselves! Look at what Jesus said
between verses four and six
Mat 19:4 And he answered and said
unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning
made them male and female,
Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause
shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and
they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
That was what was there in the beginning! We are going to return back
to the book of beginnings - the Genesis - the genesis of marriage. We
will go back there.
The Pharisees quickly raised a question and
they said “Ok! that was there in the beginning but is Moses not also a
man of God? Did Moses also not give us another solution?” And what was
the solution Moses gave to them? They now said “Why did Moses then
command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away if we say
what God has joined together let not man put asunder?” To them it seemed
as if God was contradicting Himself!
Then Jesus decided to
answer them. I would like you to take note of all this, they are
necessary for a clear understanding of what we are talking about. The
Bible said in verse eight “He saith unto them, Moses because of the
hardness of your hearts suffered (allowed) you to put away your wives:
but from the beginning it was not so.”
Before I go to verse 9 I
want you to note verse eight. The Lord Jesus said “Yes Moses gave you a
permission, a command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her
away for one reason - because of the hardness of your hearts!” Now you
will notice that what Moses was responding to when he gave that
permission was not the perfect purpose of God, it was not the perfect
will of God, Moses was responding to the hardness of their hearts. It
looks to me as if marriage was also affected when the hearts of men were
affected! It looks to me as if marriage as God conceived it in Genesis
Chapter Two was affected when sin came into the life of man. The
marriage that some of us have come up to know as marriage is already
adulterated and is already affected because of sin.
…Because of the hardness of your hearts!!!
There are new principles, new rules and new regulations that men have
evolved to govern marriage because of their prevailing situation,
because of insubordination and because of the hardness of men’s hearts.
This tells me that behind every trouble in marriage, behind every
deviation from God’s original purpose for your marriage there is the
issue of the hardness of your heart. Wives! Husbands! It looks to me as
if the basic reason why your marriage cannot fit into God’s original
design can be traced to this matter of the hardness of your hearts: the
hardness of your hearts that make you to insist that it is either things
are done my way or there is no way!!
The hardness of your hearts!!
So Jesus says in the beginning, it was not so. Verse 9 of that same
Scripture now brings up something else, it looks as if we can just get a
good landing on the issues before us today it will be a foundation for
matters we shall discuss next week as the Lord permits us.
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you…
What is the meaning of that? It’s like Jesus told them what marriage
was in the beginning and He explained the interval of time that Moses
came to fill in - the space when sin was reigning, when hardness of
heart was the order of the day, when men had not restored back their
relationship with God, when men were fallen in their sins. It looks as
if there is something again - there is another Manual for marriage but
this time for the people who live in sin and for those whose hearts have
been taken over by sin. We must consider the following question: must
we adopt this new edition though it is a later modification of the
original intention of God for marriage in our Christian homes?
Verse 9 addresses this question “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put
away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
commiteth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit
adultery.” Jesus said here that whatever Moses told you must not be
taken out of the context of the hardness of heart of the men of Moses’
time. Therefore put aside whatever Moses said to you in this matter …I
say to you!
Look! When Jesus said “I say to you” He is saying: “I AM the authority”
Alleluia!
Jesus was unequivocally saying to them “I have the final say!” When you
quote me and anyone stands up to say who told you, say to such a one
that it is I Jesus the Son of the Living God!
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you…
Where did Jesus have the authority to talk like that? The Gospel of
John Chapter One says “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was
with God and the Word was God” And there was nothing that was made that
He did not make. Which means the Man that is speaking to us, Jesus, was
the Manufacturer!! He was there at the beginning. He has the original
design in His hand.
Moses was not there at the beginning! Moses
only responded to the pressure of sin, the pressure of insubordination,
the pressure of the hardness of hearts. The fact that there was a
permissive will and something you can manage as a remedial in the time
of Moses does not nullify the original intent of God! That is why Jesus
came in verse 9 and said
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever
shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry
another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away
doth commit adultery.
That was something serious! “I say unto
you whosoever!” And whosoever means who-so-ever. You may be a Pastor,
you may be an Evangelist, you may be a big politician and you have put
away your wife Jesus said “I say unto you…” it doesn’t matter which
Bible verse you are quoting, it doesn’t matter which law of Moses you
are quoting. Jesus said “I say to you!!”
He (Jesus) said in
another place “a greater than Moses, a greater than Solomon, a greater
than Elijah, a greater than all the Prophets is here and is speaking.”
“I say to you, whosoever!” W-h-o-s-o-e-v-e-r you are.
Madam! have you left your husband’s house and you are going up and
down? Jesus said “I say unto you..” However much your own point might be
reasonable to you, the Master says whosoever shall put away his wife
except it be for fornication… And what do we mean by fornication?
Fornication can never take place after a man is married to his wife, the
only thing he can commit is adultery. We don’t talk of fornication for
married people. It means that if you didn’t put away your wife when you
started and you discovered that she had been fornicating you cannot do
it now! If you didn’t put away your wife the first day when you met her
and she told you that she was not a virgin and she had been living in
sin somewhere, you cannot put her away now! There is nothing again that
can happen in marriage that would nullify God’s original intention which
is and was and remains: “what God has joined together let not man put
asunder!”
Mat 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away
his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,
committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth
commit adultery.
If you read that Bible verse very well it says
“commits..” a continuous thing. Not that he committed. The Bible here
means that up till today as I am still talking you are still committing
adultery because you put away your wife and have married another. You
are still committing adultery!
Mat 19:9 …and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Hear what the word of God says “...does commit adultery” The Lord’s
position is that you are still in adultery if you have put away your
wife and have married another!
Now, the disciples said to Him (and I want you to see what the disciples said to Jesus)
Mat 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with
his wife, it is not good to marry. Though the disciples’ wisdom looks
good, it is not correct.
Alleluia!
When the disciples
saw what marriage entails they had a rethink! I believe that so many of
you have rushed into marriage because you don’t know what marriage
actually entails!!!
I see so many young boys who never looked
at the implication of marriage before they jumped into it: sex is all
they are looking for, they just look for a woman they can quickly sleep
with. Once they have sex, they think that is alright!! May I tell you my
friend, marriage is not just for sex! Marriage is not just an
opportunity for you to release yourself: No! No! No!
Marriage
is a commitment. Marriage involves cleaving, and cleaving for life.
Marriage is such that when you come together, there is no ground to go
back. The disciples said - if it is like that then it is good not to
marry; it is good for a man not to marry, that was what they said. We
shall return later in the broadcast to see what did the Master say in
the beginning, at the outset of marriage concerning this conclusion of
the disciples.
When I look at the book of Corinthians Paul also
said - concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me, it is good for a
man not to touch a woman (ICor. 7:1 KJV) but when you go to Genesis
Chapter Two verse Eighteen (KJV) which I will be introducing now and do
hope to speak about some more later in our broadcast as we come again to
you in the Name of Jesus. Please turn to that Scripture so that I may
introduce the matter before I close this week.
Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Can you see a conflict? Can you? It looks to me as if the reason why
people say it is not good to marry is because they saw the problems in
marriage. But I would like to tell you: the problem in your marriage is
not enough basis to conclude that it is not good for you to marry again.
No! The fact that you have suffered so much in the hand of your wife,
in the hand of your husband is not enough reason to dismiss your
marriage! I hear some of you saying “it is good that I am not married, I
will not marry again: it is enough and I will pack to my father’s
house!” No! That is not God our Father’s verdict. That is not the
Manufacturer’s verdict! The Lord’s verdict from the beginning is that it
is good for you to be married. The Bible says “it is not good for you
to be alone.”
So what are we going to do? That is the next question before us.
But before I sign off what are you going to do? I am still saying
something to you: “Bring Jesus into your marriage!” Instead of
concluding by yourself, instead of saying “Well if it’s like that I
would rather stay unmarried, I would rather run away. If you are saying
that, I say to you - that is not the answer! The answer is to bring in
Jesus. Ask Jesus - if it is like that how do you want me to run my
marriage, what do you expect me to do? How do you want me to go? Lord
open my eyes! And He will do something about it. The Lord will help you.
As we pray with you I want you to go on your knees right now. Bring in
Jesus, He has the Manufacturers manual. As you begin to operate His
manual, your marriage will take shape - it will look like what God
wanted it to be in the beginning.
May God bless you in the Name of Jesus. Amen.
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